Understanding the Process of Ageing and Illness. The Path to Acceptance. Part II 24th February 2018

We would like to ask the majority exactly what is happening with David please.

The trouble is that I have got to think on the basis that there is no “me” and that whatever I say is the majority speaking regardless of what I consider to be “me” saying it. Just to open my mouth and let the words come out and not thinking “am I saying this?” because the words that are spoken are the product of the opinion of the majority of the participants. So when it comes to listening to what I have been saying lately then you have got to think that the majority at the moment is ambivalent as regards interest in the day-to-day activities that are currently being engaged in.         

There are, you might say, transition periods in every life where certain elements lose interest in those activities and the idea of certain things are found not to attract as many followers, shall we say, as previously, but the instrument is still fully functioning as you might say a character in a soap is fully functioning although you might be running out of playlines  for the character in the soap and you need some more playlines to be written. The alternative is to write the character out of the soap. So what happens in the main is that new plots are devised and so in the case of the instrument new activities are found. You have recently engaged in two new activities so that you can see that there is somewhat of a reformulation, a repositioning going on. But in between this loss of interest in certain aspects and gaining of interest in other aspects there is a concurrent waning and gaining of intensity, you might say, and so it may not happen in a nicely smooth manner as there is somewhat of a disturbance as you can well imagine. Sometimes the intensity lessens before the new interests gain enough adherence to get some intensity back in again.

Add to this the necessary rehabilitation, you might say, as regards the new way the instrument has to function, the convalescence necessary to get used to the new pattern of feelings, the psychological aspect which tends to be overlooked. The fact that you are now in a position where you need a machine to keep the instrument functioning which makes you realise, albeit you don’t discuss or address the situation, that without that machine you would be in a much reduced state of existence as to previously and you would therefore be rather …

Incapacitated.

As well as being aware of the fact that you are most definitely on a downhill slope. The thing about the pacemaker is that it has enabled you to do things that you were not previously able to do due to making sure that enough oxygen gets to the appropriate part of the mechanics, shall we say, to enable you to move at a pace that you were not able to move at previously.

But that doesn’t repair the underlying psychological damage. You still realise that you are merely extending the inevitable. Your intimations of mortality have been given quite a boost, shall we say, and you are now aware of the fact that although you will now carry on quite well that you may need to change your behaviour somewhat. Not expect to be an all energy, all singing, all dancing instrument. As we intimated before you will be able to lead a comfortable life and maybe you need to address this fact as to what exactly you will conceive to be a comfortable life. That may not be the Jack-in-the-box that you have previously been used to. You have to be able to follow what we called the path to acceptance.

You can be around, you can enjoy certain things but you mustn’t constantly bemoan the fact that you no longer feel to be a ball of energy. You can do this, you can do that, you can do the other pursuant to the knowledge that you can no longer be that young person in an old body. The old body doesn’t want to act, the energy needed to propel it about its business is not so readily available. It is not just the heart, there are many other aspects as well. You have many more organs, many more glands, many more other suppliers of the necessary energy precursors that are no longer working to the capacity they used to. You simply have to get used to the idea that life has got to be lived at a slower pace and actually enjoy it.

As you look at the fact that you now get up and read the news on the internet think what your parents used to do. They used to get up fetch the morning paper and sit down and read it leisurely over breakfast, yes?

Yes.

So now instead of getting up and immediately dashing to make breakfast, there is no need to do that except on the days that you are going out. There is no need to have breakfast at seven if you get up at 6.30 and you haven’t got to go anywhere, in fact you are doing yourself a disservice. You are starting the engine up far too early, you are not giving it any rest and then you expect to keep going the rest of the day whereas you maybe ease into the day then get the breakfast, enjoy it slowly and then contemplate what to do for the rest of the day.

You have got other people around you who do not even get up until 9.30 or 10.00 and they are not all going to bed until 2am either. They are taking life at a different pace, everybody takes life at a different pace. You have chosen to take life at a far greater pace than most and now the time isn’t appropriate. You are within the last, let us say, 15% of your lifetime. Now if you applied that to any other mechanism that you know of would you expect it to be going at the same rate as it would do in the first 15% of its lifetime?

No.

No, you would say it has had wear and tear and what would you say as regards ideas and interests? Have people got the same interests at your age as they had at 20? Few and far between. Mostly they have moved on. If they have been doing it for a long time they have had so much experience of it that there is no longer anything that is new and exciting. There is a certain satisfaction, a certain amount of enjoyment. Where is your enjoyment in the singing and dancing coming from? You are going to singing and dancing that are products of your youth, most of your songs that you sing and dance to come from what era? They don’t come from this era. Do you get excited about them? No! They are comfortable. They are like old..

Gloves.

Gloves, cardigans, things that you put on, much loved items of comfort, well worn, that you’re used to. They’re not new things. You might find some interest in learning a new dance, but it is danced to the old music and the old steps, it is a variation on a theme. If you wish to enjoy that variation and find excitement from it then so be it, if you don’t and you recognise it for what it is and it doesn’t enthuse you then don’t worry that it doesn’t enthuse you. You simply see it in a different fashion.

If other things are of interest then take them up. Temporarily you’re finding yourself not inclined to travel, but when you do maybe go to somewhere new or that you haven’t visited for a long time because even if you may not be quite as comfortable as going back to the places you have previously been going to, there will be that element of surprise as to how things may have changed or remembering a scene you had forgotten. There may be new restaurants, new buildings, a golf course you haven’t played for 10 years, an element of rediscovery. It will be more of an interest to go to somewhere different.

There is more than one reason to do that and then maybe you will find you ease more because you will be doing something you have done many times before. It will be familiar, it will be something you will have to get ready for so you have to use energy and that alone will stimulate various aspects. Meanwhile just realise that you are going through a transition.  Transition periods are never easy. When you move to a new area how many times is it new and exciting and how many times is it  ”I miss the old”? So you have the elements of transition there. The element of “I wish I was back where we came from but on the other hand I know this was the right thing to do”.

Now apply that to your transition. Except for the fact that instead of choosing the transition, which of course you have done from another angle, you are now going to experience the transition you have chosen to experience. So perhaps take more of the observer status out of this, step back and see what it is that is happening to you. Remember that every word that is being spoken at the moment is the product of all those who are undergoing this experience at the moment. So simply by doing this everybody is receiving a counselling session to clear their mind and to understand what it is they are currently undergoing. Do you see?

Yes.

Now you can apply this to saying this is the teachers coming in or you can say that there are some of those who are part of the majority who have spoken up and others are listening because the discussion is going on. Meanwhile we are saying well let’s listen to the discussion because when we all have to focus on the production of the spoken word then we all have to listen as well. Whereas if we just let thoughts flash between us then we don’t get the confluence. Can you understand that?

Yes.

Because you cannot see clearly. In other words the voting hasn’t occurred, it is still the babel of the houses of parliament and until you vote you don’t know what it is the policy is going to be. You don’t fully understand the situation either. Until the debate has occurred, the debate is a precursor to the vote, then minds cannot be cleared. All the time the talk is going on in the parliamentary bars and lounges nobody is quite aware of the whole picture but when you get into the chamber and get to hear both sides of the argument gradually this clears the mind of the non-essential and the bones of the matter begin to become apparent. It is only then that you can decide whether you are going to vote for or against this motion, because now you understand.

By doing what we are doing right at this moment the majority is starting to understand and we can only hope now that when they go back into the lounges and the bars, shall we say for the purposes of allegory, then they will conclude that “Yes, we have just got to sit back and wait for the dust to settle”, shall we say, or the emulsion to separate. Yes?

Yes.

And all will become clear over the passage of time.

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