Conversation  with our son Steven who passed in 1994.  Jan 2019

Thanks for that personal advice. Is there anything else?

Life is good both for you and for me and for all of us. No matter where you are there are things that take your interest and so all the time an idea catches your eye, takes your fancy, even if it is a small thing or a day to day occurrence just like making the chocolates. They didn’t have to be made but there was the enthusiasm “Yes, let’s make those because they are enjoyable”. Same thing with the raspberry cake. There are things all the time that are enjoyable. Now you must parallel that with what’s happening here, we do the same sort of thing. We look and see what so and so is doing and “I’ll go over and see what’s happening there and join in with that”. So you go over, obviously that just means looking, focusing in.

Activities, as you can imagine are not greatly different to those in the physical when you first leave the physical. You tend to mix with those on a certain level who, because they enjoyed it in the physical, then go back to enjoying it in the non-physical. Because they now have the feeling, the memory, the experience, of what it is like to be on the stage in that particular activity and although you can now enjoy the activity again you know that you are creating the props and everything else whereas in the physical you were not aware of that. That doesn’t mean to say that you can’t enjoy it just as well.

Now when you put your CD on you are creating the music. The act of putting the CD on, you create the music that you enjoy. You are not actively producing the music, what is the difference? The only difference is that here you can actually produce the notes you wish to hear, but why do that when somebody else can produce the notes even better than you can? They understand the ins and outs of music and therefore they can produce sounds that you wouldn’t even think of producing because most of the sounds that you produce come from memory and are the product of other minds that composed that particular piece of music. So you will still listen to others, but there again you may challenge your own capability to think up the variations on a piece of music.

Just as you allow yourself to move to the music on the dance floor then you, if you try to understand how notes fit together, can vary the tunes that you whistle or sing and the notes that go there. This is an area that requires just as much practise where we are as it does where you are. You have to understand music and how it fits together.

Life is continuous and when you move from one to the other you hardly notice the difference and when it comes to understanding that then of course there will be this “Well, why stay here, why not go”? On the other hand, you think to yourself “I’d rather stick around for this, I’d rather stick around for that”. But of course it is no good saying “Let’s start speaking and let’s get the majority to say what is going to happen”, because you are the majority, you are part of the whole. The majority thought is your thought. Don’t think that you are separate from the majority because most of the time you are agreeing wholeheartedly with the majority. You are not a single person outside. When you think, the thoughts are being produced by the majority. You cannot set yourself apart and still be part of it, you are either with it or you are not with it at all. As we have said before you may feel that when something is not going to work out that well it is of course easy to say, from the point of view of trying to explain, that you are taking a decision that you are not really comfortable with but once more that is still the majority. The majority is taking the decision that it is not very comfortable with otherwise you wouldn’t be experiencing the feelings of the majority.

It is very difficult for us to put over to you that you are only experiencing the majority because whichever way we look at it, while you are in the physical you still think of yourself as a singular and it is extremely difficult to see yourself as a [product of a] multiple.

So when we are explaining things, if we keep coming back and say to you “this is all you are at the moment” then we have taken away your sense of “I” completely and yet that is not true because you are living all these “I”s and you are still yourself but as we have stressed before, you cannot stand outside yourself. So you just say, in the end, “This is how I feel, this is what I want to do, this is a life or activity that I wish to join at the present time” and you just let it carry on.

“Mum”?…   Hi.

How are you Steve?

Always, always, always happy. Always good, no problems, no challenges, avoid the challenges, as I said before, just have a good time. No need to ask how I am because there is no doubt. Are you enjoying yourself, are you happy and the answer will come back “Well of course I am”, because what is there to be unhappy about? No problems, do whatever you like. Contact, be with, look in, see what is going on and yes maybe “I wonder what is going to happen there”? You can see to a certain degree what is happening in the immediate future but you are also, again it is sooo difficult for anyone to explain to you that you are all together all the time. How difficult it is for me to say that you are here anyway, mm? Yes. Because you feel the sense of separation, but I don’t feel the sense of separation so what have I got to be unhappy about? Yes.

People I have loved in this particular life are with me anyway and we are doing one or two other things but once more I am not aware that I am doing those until I focus in them even though I do know that I am doing several things because I know other people and I know that if I know them and that I have feelings towards them that we are both focussed into some other activity. Therefore that is where we retain the feelings of connection from. As you can imagine, “I know you from somewhere, where I don’t know I’ve forgotten”. Mm? Yes. I know that face, I remember that voice. It is a long time ago maybe but there’s no time, but it’s a long distance ago if you take frequency and the lives of different frequency.

So, once more, nothing to be unhappy about. Perfectly happy.

You have just had all your advice for living and as far as I can tell you from here your particular little soap opera is going to go on for quite a while yet. There will be the usual ups and downs along the road but there is no ending in sight at the moment and so we haven’t got any party preparations going on. And it’s a question we are all highly interested in what’s still happening. It may seem mundane to you but even watching the changes in the weather is different if we care to look in.

It’s a… it’s a show! Mm? Yes. We don’t have to deal with things we don’t want to deal with here and so to pop in and see how you are contending with things you have no, or you think you have no control over, then it’s nice to just view these things now and again. No different to you viewing on the television, we view in much the same manner.

So you have been viewing what’s been going on in the family?

Of course and elsewhere and other things. Whatever took our interest when we were in the physical, you still retain an interest if it floats by. Especially if you had thoughts as to how it should be or you found certain aspects of the physical quite exhilarating, amazing, awesome then it is quite interesting to see. Volcanoes going off for example are still something that are still “well look at this”. Mm? Yes. You get an email or a message on your phone, whatever, a small video and you look at it in passing and then you discard it. Yes? For the memory. Well we are the same here. The ideas, it’s not just ideas; the ideas, the events, the happenings are all over and when one resonates you take a look, but that’s all.

So how would you decide whether to have a physical life if you didn’t know what is was about at all? You wouldn’t just say “Ah, I’ll just jump in over there” because the idea wouldn’t have grabbed you. You had to have a feeling about the idea in the first place? Yes. And the feeling had to come from either prior experience or from something where you absorbed all the multitudinous aspects of the proposed life and say “that was overall a pretty good feeling, yes, I’ll do that”. Another one would be “ooh, that wasn’t a very good feeling, I’ll think I’ll give that one a miss”. But it comes not as a detailed review and a weighing up but just an overall feeling because you can see everything that is going to happen in a blur, let us say, all coming to you at once, not sequential, it all comes to you at once like taking in a large jigsaw. Instead of being able to look at each little bit and piece you get the general impression. Yes? Uh huh. So, “that’s a nice picture, or, there is something about that picture that jars”. That is more what it is like so this is why you will take a life that overall has a pretty good feeling because the overall intensity, the overall resonance fit with you. Whereas there are one or two bits in there that were pretty nasty but they simply didn’t have the volume, shall we say, to detract from the sound as a whole. There is a discordant note here and there, but in terms of the overall production it was let go.

So anyway, my turn to be able to put over some, you might say, knowledge and I’m in a good position to do that now of course and so quite happy at times to sort of sit in on Dad’s chats because I can add bits in here and there. Like we did things together in the physical we can still do things from this end together as well.

You’ve got no need to worry about “Tine” either. “Tine” is in decent condition and she will look back on her life at the end of it all and say, “well it may not have been everybody’s cup of tea but I basically pleased myself, I had very little to worry about and although there were times when I would have liked a bit more companionship on the other hand there were no downsides. There was only some, let us put it, elevated moments and some flat moments. There were no moments of plumbing the depths except for when I went over. But overall she will look back and say “that was quite a pleasant life, it didn’t cause me terrific amounts of angst and anxiety”. Of course that was what was chosen in the first place any way.

As for me, well, as has been told to you, someone has to go sometimes to shape the whole thing up so that routes are followed which wouldn’t have been followed if these things hadn’t happened. The play has to be organised in such a way that others, you might say, craftily engineered the events so that the outcome is to their satisfaction. You can say that we acquiesced to all these things and your books will mark the passage of time.

“Chucky” is having a happy life. She has got her child and that is something she has treasured above all else and she is living her life to the maximum love experience, you might say, rather than the material experience and in many ways if you look at it then all of us didn’t have much in the way of material ambition and yet you, Dad, were driven from an early age to remove yourself from the living with restricted means and be able to do what you wanted to do. To do that you had to get yourself into certain positions and the money was necessary. But we didn’t have to drive ourselves for money and we were able to turn ourselves to looking at other aspects. Once more we come back to the fact that this is what is chosen. Now just as “Tine” is able to do roughly what she wants to do, eschew certain relationships so that she doesn’t have the downside then you must say the same thing with “Chucky”. Chucky” is not bothering to match her peers in terms of houses and cars and I am sure you would agree that she is leading the life that she enjoys and she is doing what she wants to do, she is not doing what doesn’t give her pleasure. Would you agree?

Yes I would agree.

And so what is wrong with that? Then, hard for dad to understand but there you go, and it’s one of those things that are part of what you might say the learning experience and when you have been of a certain motivation then it is hard to see the lack of motivation in others because you think that motivation should be there and you can’t understand that there is no need to be motivated in that fashion. If you are motivated to sit under a palm tree all day and just nod off and just eat when you need to eat and then socialise when you need to socialise, then how would you feel [about] that, as a life wasted or a life chosen? You talk about retreating into bliss, bliss is whatever you care to think of as suiting you.

That’s right.

Bliss can be just feeling the warmth of the sun and letting yourself relax, forgetting the bodily feelings, not worrying about this needs doing, or that needs doing and letting go. That is difficult to do if you surround yourself with an environment that requires constant maintenance for you to keep it in the manner in which it gives you pleasure. Mm?

Yes.

So once more the bliss must…. still difficult to explain because you have joined… you are part of a consciousness grouping that is highly motivated. Mm?

Yes.

And so it is hard to…  in fact all the time you wish to stay with it you are part of that highly motivated group. The only way to leave it will be to leave it. Mm?

Yes.

Change focus and so you just have to say to yourself, well yep, I am in this bus and this bus is driven at quite a pace. Mm? I see that other bus over there and it is stopping here and stopping there and admiring the view and having a convivial time whereas this bus is still rushing from place to place. Unfortunately, you can’t change buses. Mm?

Yes.

You can’t be in both buses at once. So to leave your present bus you have got to get off and ask to join the other bus and then of course you will lose all contact with the bus you have just got off. Yes?

Yes.

And so all those that are in the original bus will then miss you and so that is a pretty good parallel for what this is all about.

Love you.

Love you Steve, lovely talking to you.